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10 Hard Rules Of Life:
Life has a peculiar way of surprising us. One moment,
everything seems to go as planned, while the next
moment, an unexpected change hits us from left field.
It is understandable to feel disappointed or
frustrated when faced with difficult situations that
life throws at us. However, by understanding a few
inevitable complex rules of life, we can develop
resilience and adaptive capacities not get by and
thrive beautifully.
This article covers ten such undeniable rules about
living and strategies to embrace them for personal
growth. We can lead significant and fulfilling lives
by using these rules as a mental framework guiding our
thoughts and actions. Read on as we dive into each
one!
1. Change Is Inevitable
The only constant in life is change. Sometimes,
changes happen voluntarily as we grow and evolve – we
may change jobs, homes, interests, or beliefs. Other
times, change feels forced upon us suddenly, like an
unwelcome guest. Whether voluntary or not, expecting
permanence is unrealistic, and being rigid comes at a
psychological cost to wellbeing.
For example, Maria trained hard for over four years to
make it to the Olympics as a swimmer. Unfortunately, a
week before the event, she has an accident and
fractures her arm. Her dream of competing is instantly
shattered. Though deeply disappointed, she understands
change is inevitable, works hard on recovery, and is
determined to treat this as a detour rather than a
dead end in her athletic journey.
2. Failure Is A Part Of Success
Failure tends to have strongly negative connotations,
and many dread the very prospect of it. However,
failure is simply the temporary difference between
expected and actual outcomes. Failing causes no
lasting harm and is the stepping stone to bridging the
gap between current reality and ambitions. In fact, by
failing often and fast with small, low stake lessons,
we accelerate learning before taking the giant leaps.
For example, 12 publishers rejected J.K. Rowling’s
first Harry Potter manuscript before finally getting
her break. Fifteen failed attempts preceded Thomas
Edison’s successful invention of the light bulb. The
most significant difference between those who succeed
and those who don’t is persistence through failure
until ambitions are finally met.
3. No One Is Perfect
Chasing perfection is an exercise in futility that
causes constant anguish. Standards of perfection vary
wildly across people and contexts. What’s seen as
perfection also keeps changing fluidly across periods
and cultures. This makes perfection a mythical moving
target that is impossible to hit reliably. People who
seem to achieve perfection have likely redefined the
yardsticks to make it possible or tailored
environments to suit strengths.
Example: A straight-A student used to academic success
goes through intense turmoil when she gets a B grade
for the first time. She has defined self-worth too
rigidly through the lens of perfect marks. She can
rediscover peace by broadening her definition of
excellence and connecting with other facets of
identity.
4. Life Isn’t Fair
Hard work, virtue, or being in the right do not
automatically ensure fair rewards. Life’s
circumstances and events can be beyond individual
control, regardless of merit. A major health crisis,
natural disaster, or freak accident can unfairly
destroy years of labor. The asymmetry between inputs
and outcomes highlights life’s fundamental injustice.
Example: A wrongfully convicted man spends 20 years in
prison before new DNA evidence finally proves his
innocence. Though eventually released and compensated,
no consolation can recover the lost decades of prime
life due to an incorrect verdict.
5. Not Everything Is Within Our Control
Trying to control everything inevitably leads to
frustration and misery. As much as we might wish, many
aspects of life cannot be bent fully to our will due
to their inherent randomness or others’ free agency.
The illusion of total control stems from the ego’s
fantasy rather than reality’s feasibility. Events
unfold based on complex systemic interactions between
choice, chance, and destiny.
Example: A single father raises his children with
utmost love, care, and wisdom – only to find one son
later engages in substance abuse despite the father’s
best efforts. Even the most diligent parenting cannot
control life’s influences beyond the home.
6. Time Waits For No One
Each moment that passes can never return. Despite
knowing this intellectually, we routinely postpone
living fully while fantasizing about the magical day
all dreams will somehow come true together someday.
Meanwhile, turning points fade, people pass on, and
potential slowly extinguishes – until one day, time
itself runs out. Even our next breath isn’t
guaranteed, as the river of time flows regardless of
plans.
Example: Penny quit her monotonous job with dreams of
finally pursuing her passion for pottery full time –
just as soon as her ceramic website got running, loans
were repaid, and kids’ college funds topped up. She
could never muster enough courage in the ‘right’
moment – until the shocking news of cancer left her
with just months to live and mountains of regret.
7. Everyone You Love Will Eventually Leave
Loss inevitably accompanies love because everything
arises and passes. No relationship lasts forever on
the earthly plane of existence. Even soulmates part
ways eventually as death rockets each being onto its
unique spiritual trajectory beyond the body. By being
thoroughly aware of love’s temporariness from the very
start, we spare ourselves from shock down the line.
For example, Sophia fights with her sister Amy over
differing lifestyle choices that leave both sisters
angry and estranged. A week later, Amy unexpectedly
dies in a car crash before the conflict can be
resolved, leaving Sophia heartbroken she can no longer
mend fences or create new memories with Amy.
8. Hard Work Doesn’t Always Guarantee
Success
Working tirelessly is admirable but insufficient to
guarantee results since external variables drive
outcomes substantially. Market needs, timing,
regulations, other players, and sheer luck play
decisive roles, too, that may override purely
perspiration factors. Hard work significantly raises
the probability of success without any doubt, but it
cannot control all causes single-handedly.
Example: An ethical organic farmer works backbreaking
hours on his land but suffers significant losses due
to subsidized chemicals dumped cheaply by industrial
giants dominating policymaking. If success were purely
the result of focused solo and hard work, such
external distortion of level playing fields would not
happen.
9. Happiness Is A Choice And Responsibility
Lasting happiness or suffering originates not in
external events but in one’s internal processes. No
person or situation itself creates sadness or joy –
instead, it emerges from how stimuli get mentally
interpreted and translated into personalized meanings.
Taking charge of these translations puts us in the
driver’s seat of our emotional states.
Example: Identical traffic triggers vastly different
reactions in people – anger, acceptance, amusement, or
adventure depending on mental frameworks applied to
the same external sensory input. Happiness rests not
in having ‘perfect’ traffic but in perfecting the lens
through which we perceive reality.
10. You Are The Author Of Your Life
While circumstances influence parts of life’s journey
that vary wildly across people, the paramount power
still rests within each individual. Everyone can
reflect, choose attitudes, determine responses, and
assign meaning. This personal power of conscious
reaction makes us all self-made individuals by our own
hands.
Example: Identical traumatic events affected Helen and
Betty differently due to their divergent inner
resilience. While bitter Betty recurrently blamed the
world, resilient Helen focused on recovering wellness
and contributing solutions passionately. Their
contrasting mindsets and responses steered them down
distinct life trajectories – despite both facing the
same initial stimulus.
Key Takeaways:
Change inevitably keeps happening, and the resilient
person adapts swiftly rather than resisting reality.
Failure offers pivotal feedback to tweak efforts till
success is achieved.
Perfection is an unrealistic man-made myth;
self-acceptance and flexibility breed sustainable
excellence.
Since external fairness is unreliable, internally
grounded values within our control let us command
destiny.
Channeling energies toward controllable elements and
radical acceptance of inherent randomness prevent
anguish.
Time is the most valuable asset possible; now is the
only time to start living fully.
Everyone eventually moves in/out of life on unique
timelines; savor each moment together rather than take
presence for granted.
Due to other complex determining factors, hard work
substantially raises the probability of success
without fully guaranteeing it.
Happiness emerges not from having perfect external
conditions but from perfecting our mental meanings and
lenses applied to reality.
Everyone is the author of their unique life story;
regardless of the context, our power of choice writes
the script.
Conclusion
By incorporating life’s ten complex rules as guiding
principles for thoughts and actions, we build the
resilience to tackle challenges and follow dreams
courageously until the desired destination is reached.
The rules teach pragmatic realism balanced beautifully
with determined idealism. Master these, and you master
life beautifully.
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